How Senator John McCain brought the horse-and-buggy back, renounced militarism and became President: a fanciful tale.
by James K. Sayre
A few days after Senator John McCain's proposal for a three-hundred million dollar prize or bounty for a super auto battery was generally derided in the media and on the internet, he made a new proposal. He offered a three hundred dollar cash prize to anyone who could produce a low-cost and environmentally-green form of personal transportation.
Several hours after he made this offer public, he claimed his prize himself. He decided that a hay-fed and oats-fed horse pulling a light-weight buggy would fill the bill perfectly. He called it the McCain Horse-and-buggy transportation. At first, folks were skeptical, but after being hammered with gas costing upwards of four dollars a gallon, they were ready for some real change. Change they could believe in. Horse-and-buggies they could believe in. Back to the good ole horse-and-buggy days? No, forward to the new improved environmentally-green horse-and-buggy days.
Folks across this great land decided that it was finally time to give up on their SUVs, and other vehicles powered by gasoline, diesel fuel or other oil derivatives. They began to lay out horse pastures, build barns, and storage areas for horses, buggies, sleighs, winter hay and other related things used back in the mid-19th century for ground transportation. Hay lofts came into vogue again. Farmers in the Midwest gave up growing corn for ethanol production and switched to growing oats for horses. People would say, "And that ain't hay" and "Get a horse" in their conversations with their neighbors.
Senator John McCain was riding high on his new found popularity. He realized that if America returned to the ground transportation used in the mid-19th century, that there would be little need for a large imperial U. S. army and navy to steal and secure oil resources abroad. So he renounced militarism, turned his back on his family's three generations of service in the navy and looked to his 19th century farmer-ancestors for inspiration. McCain became vastly more popular with his renunciation of militarism.
Kids were demanding cooked rolled oats as their breakfast cereal to be solidarity with horses. America started a long transformation from a car and truck-based economy to a traditional 19th economy based on horse-drawn vehicles and the reliable iron horse (trains). Our dependence on foreign oil and even domestic oil rapidly declined. As we withdrew our overseas military forces from around the world, terrorist attacks rapidly declined. Senator McCain surpassed the charismatic Barack Obana in popularity and became President. Then Barack knew exactly how Hillary felt when she was passed by him back in the Democratic primary elections in early 2008..
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